.

Yeps, in fact right now my boobs feel like someone has been pounding them with a baseball bat. Maybe it's because it's so springy, but a baseball bat seems like exactly the thing to have caused the horribly painful-to-the-oh-so-soft-touch infecting my boobs right now.

Luckily they don't seem to be any bigger at the moment!!!!!

I am very, very emotional still, and frustrated with ALL of my friends. All three of them, whom, luckily will never read this as they are far too self-absorbed. One is too busy with ... stuff... to bother even writing back to an email. One is so boy crazy she cannot talk about anything else, and no she is not 16, she is 24! One refuses to believe that my having Lyme Disease could possibly be making my joints and muscles ache and insists that it is my age. (31!)

I sound bitter, and I'm supposed to be all happy and stuff!!! The truth is that I AM happy, I just wish I had someone, anyone, to really talk to about all of these things. I mention cloth diaper to friend number 3, and she gasps in shock and horror. I tell friend number 1 I'm considering a home birth and she passes out cold amidst murmurs of "but my baby was blue when he came out!!!!" I tell friend number 2 ANYthing baby related and she responds "But, do you think he likes me?"

I need some new friends.

*whew* I needed the rant, but I am really NOT depressed like that. I am blessed to have an amazing, wonderful, adorable, supportive husband. And that is way more than many women ever get. But some girltalk amongst equals sure would be nice!

Posted by JoAnna at 09:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

And I'm only 5 weeks pregnant. Or 3 weeks if you count from date of conception... which, come to think of it, would be way more logical to me! It just seems like it is way too soon for me to be feeling ANYthing, yet here I am with gonzo big boobs, so emotional I feel like a cross between a screaming banshee and a weeping willow, and seriously sleepy.

It just seems too early for this!!!!

Of course I tested early. I wish I could remember why I tested so early! There must have been some *thing* that happened or that I thought of, which made me think I should. Because I tested a week before my period was even due, and got this tiny, faint, barely visible line on the test. I told my Charlie that night, "Honey, we have a definite maybe we are pregnant!"

Over the course of the next week I went through *ahem* a dozen or so tests. Errrr... ok, ok, more like six or seven. I kept getting these soft little lines, and thinking to myself... "HcG doubles every 48 hours, so the line should get DARKER, shouldn't it? Shouldn't it?" To make matters even more confusing, the test I had said that if you don't read the results fast enough, you might get a "phantom" line. Which doesn't mean you are pregnant, it just means you waited too long to read the test.

ARGGHH!!!

Finally I went out and bought the EPT Certainty test, the digital one. Peed on the stick and sat there frantically waiting while the little digital screen blinked, blinked, blinked.. PREGNANT.

I mean, I knew before. I knew. But when I saw that, I REALLY knew. And really knowing makes all the difference. I feel so wierd, like I am having these glimpses of the future where this tiny little thing inside of me is a crazy teenager slamming doors in my face. That's wierd, isn't it? To be thinking of something like that this early in?

Maybe I just need more rest...

Posted by JoAnna at 03:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)